Its summer school holiday. Its been a week now but the weathers are all gloomy and raining. So much of summer break. But, lucky enough, we get a bit of sunshine today, when i took the kids out for dentist appointment and then to the nearby park.
Its been pretty busy for husband who is now in writting stage. All i pray is for him to get all the motivations and ideas flowing while he is at it. I know its hard to not see or spent time with the kids. But, all for good reasons that we pray that its all worth it. And because of that God gives me a whole time in the world for my kids, right from they open their eyes in the morning to when they close their eyes at night to sleep. Who am i to complaint, when all mothers in the world would gives anything to switch place with me. All i gotta do is, as much as i want to get to bed early, i try to stay awake after i put them to bed. So i can sit on the couch, turn on the tv, and eat a chocolate. Or simply read a few pages of books. So that im able to say - on day to day basis, im good.
On the other note, i had this idea to take up some online course since both kids are going to school this September. I thought that maybe i should learn something, cert-wise. Online course seems practical for me because i only get free time 9am-3pm (school hours). I had quite an argument with my mom who insisted that i continue study in engineering. Im quite torn in between my wish and her hope. And honestly it made me nervous and scared to move to the next step thinking that she would not approve it. But come to think of it, this was not the first time. When i took up engineering instead of biology in secondary school, i think she was a bit upset. I tried to apply for architecture degree course in Uni, although she was against it. I couldnt get through though but satisfied enough with engineering. I told her that this was just a short course, like taking a yoga or sewing class. Truth is, im not intend to go into engineering anymore. I think my passion and interest had move on to other area.
Not to say that i dont like engineering. It used to be my passion. I enjoyed throughout my degree (though most subjects are pain in the ass). I enjoyed my work as a design engineer. My job took me around the world and i am forever grateful for that experience. Would i want more of it? Maybe. Maybe not. Mostly not, at the moment. But i dont think its wrong to change in your environment or career. Just long as u enjoyed it.
Well anyway, thats the plan. And i have to make up my decision quick as september will just come in a blink. Wish me luck.
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Death
How we die, reflect on how we live. I heard, or read that quote somewhere. Tapi ajal dan jodoh itu rahsia Tuhan. So how can we human presume the lifestyle of someone by how she/he die? All by mercy of Him.
Here's the truth, i've been constantly thinking about death since my grandmother died. Just like any sinner, im hell scared of dying. To the point im being so overreacting. When i get a massive headache i thought im gonna die because i got brain tumor. When im travelling i thought that im gonna die of accidents. When i got pain in my stomach i thought im gonna die of kidney malfunction. When i got nose blocked, i thought i will die in my sleep due to lack of air to breathe. I'm starting to be paranoid than ever.
When my grandmother was alive during her last two weeks, i used to came by her bed everyday and when she's sleeping i watched her chest up and down breathing in air all she could. She told me 'i'll be gone soon'. I always thought she'll recover. Never once, i came back to be expecting that she'll be gone. Looking back, i wonder, what was she felt at the time. Is she scared? Sad? In peace?
Life is too short. So buy that damn shoes.
Life is too short. Just eat the cake. Diet later.
Life is too short. Just go booked the flight ticket.
Life is indeed too short. Too short to waste on a flight ticket, cakes or even a pair of damn shoes. Life is too short that you should start forgive people, love people around you and spent every seconds with your child.
I hope that every seconds in my life, i'll be reminded of these.
Here's the truth, i've been constantly thinking about death since my grandmother died. Just like any sinner, im hell scared of dying. To the point im being so overreacting. When i get a massive headache i thought im gonna die because i got brain tumor. When im travelling i thought that im gonna die of accidents. When i got pain in my stomach i thought im gonna die of kidney malfunction. When i got nose blocked, i thought i will die in my sleep due to lack of air to breathe. I'm starting to be paranoid than ever.
When my grandmother was alive during her last two weeks, i used to came by her bed everyday and when she's sleeping i watched her chest up and down breathing in air all she could. She told me 'i'll be gone soon'. I always thought she'll recover. Never once, i came back to be expecting that she'll be gone. Looking back, i wonder, what was she felt at the time. Is she scared? Sad? In peace?
Life is too short. So buy that damn shoes.
Life is too short. Just eat the cake. Diet later.
Life is too short. Just go booked the flight ticket.
Life is indeed too short. Too short to waste on a flight ticket, cakes or even a pair of damn shoes. Life is too short that you should start forgive people, love people around you and spent every seconds with your child.
I hope that every seconds in my life, i'll be reminded of these.
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