Sunday, February 14, 2016

Address

I went to get a new Identification Card today at JPN. The guy at the counter read though the letter from Malaysian Embassy in United Kingdom stating that my purse was lost. We chatted a bit and he said 'Don't come back. Living here is just not the same anymore'. I wasn't shocked. I've heard this thousand times even before I came to London. Financially, I could understand. The other day when I went shopping at Giant for pampers, shampoo, toothbrush, a few foods for the kids, it costs me RM200 for less than 20 items. Its mind blowing.

I actually never thought of living abroad. Migrating was never an option although the idea seems exciting. I enjoyed living abroad but being away from family sometimes can be depressing. Especially when you are the type that used to see each other once in a couple of months. Not that I am the manja type. But I major love family gathering and laughing and make silly jokes over each other.

I don't know what's my next address would be. Wherever it is, I hope i can make it - my home. My. Home.


Travelling

I'm back in my home country. So excited to be here yet so sad to leave my husband in London. He's quite busy with his work that me and the kids had to come back on our own.

Journey was challenging, but manageable. Many times, people are staring at me when I was struggling and almost look like clumsy clown to keep my backpack in the upper luggage compartment. Or when I brought my two kids and squeeze ourselves in the tiny square toilet for diaper changing. Or when I pretend to sleep while my kids going back and forth along our seats (Thank God we got 4 seats in the front row all ourselves). Or when I let my youngest child cried for a while because she's cranky and I'm too sleepy and tired to attend her. But there were also times that people was smiling when they saw my kids goofing and laughing about silly things only they knew. When Irfan sits still and watched movie while I went to the toilet. When they both fell asleep and they gave you a you've-done-well-mummy-look.

I've traveled alone with my kids many times. In a plane, bus, train and car. Its a skill that only will get better with practices. Having said that, doesn't mean that my kids are on their best behaviour all the time. You can never go well for the first nor perfect on the 100th times. But, it will get easier each time.

Ok? :)

So good luck to you.

And me :)


Monday, February 8, 2016

Time

Its been a while since I talked to my grandmother on the phone. When i called home, usually she was sleeping or praying in her room and because i did not want to bother her, i just chatted with my mom. Today when i called home, my mom said that my grandmother was feeling very weak that if i wanted to talk to her, i should just call her cell phone because she might not be coming out of her room.

my grandmother is probably reaching 90s. i never know her birthdate. seeing her weak and all is something that i would have never imagined. all my life that i know her, she always walking and doing house chores around. even in her 70s and 80s. i should have remind myself, that each year im getting older, so does my grandmother. and my parent.

i hope i get to see her soon. when you need time. but you know you cant have it.