Monday, June 6, 2022

Confinement

10 more days before i end my confiment period which is 44 days in total. Malay confinement rules is very strict and full of pass over tradition, which some doesnt even make sense. Over the years i’ve practiced some under my mom’s care, which can be very very strict as she has gone through the same when she was cared by her mom too. 

Due to my dad’s surgery, my mom had to come a bit later after i gave birth so i hired a confinement lady from my friend’s recomendation and she was good. In fact she did all extra work without being asked for. There’s pro and cons and some way a bit different from what my mom would have done. She started her day at 9 am so I’ll sort myself out before she came. (She prepared the herbal bath the day before for me). I showered and eat breakfast myself (usually a toast with hot drink - something easy that me and husband can prepared). When she came, she showered the baby and when she’s done, she will massage me. When all ends at around 11-12, she will go downstairs and cooked lunch (that would be my dinner too to be reheated later in the evening). She went home when i finished my lunch and cleaned and washed in the kitchen, around 1pm ish. We also did sauna, tangas, pilis, param some other day which is my first time (as i never did with my mom before).

When my mom arrived, things adjusted slightly different. 7am, she came and bring me my breakfast. Then she went down to prep my massage stone. Then i did tungku (massage) myself for about 30-40 minutes around the tummy, legs and foot, while, she showered the baby. She will bring down the baby and bottle fed him. I finished off myself and showered and rest until lunch time /until next feeding. Then i came down for lunch when its ready. For dinner, she will make a freshly cook rice (the rice is never to be reheat - always cook a new one).

The diet between my mom and the confinement lady also is slightly different. Once the confinement lady cook me a dish with egg tauhu and suhun and rice for dinner was reheated from lunch, which my mom never approved of. For the confiment lady (and most of them), siakap, ikan merah, or salmon is fine. But my mom insisted that only certain fish can be eaten during confinement - ikan gelama, ikan kerisi, ikan grut grut, which i had to bought online.

Benkung or tummy wrap and socks is a must to wear all the time. But i sometimes take them out especially during the end of the day as it is getting hotter. My mom also told me not to use the AC and the fan must be on low speed. She insisted that everything i did or eat - must be in warm/hot. hot drink, warm food, warm room, warm shower. she even insisted that i only bath once a day (which i cannot obey because its too hot and uncomfortable to go to bed without shower).

Although the confinement lady was less strict than my mom, i still longed for her care everytime i go through confinement. Nothing is ever the same than mom’s care. But as much as i love her care, i still want the confinement period to end as soon as possible LOL.