38

i was on day 4, from the first day i started to get sick. it wasnt an easy recovering process. i woke up feeling sluggish but had to get up anyway. i look in the mirror and noticed my grey hair getting more and more apparent. i had no time to study my own sick pale face. i had to shower before ilhan get up. i remind myself to wash my hair that morning. the hair conditioner labels said to apply on wet hair for at least 5 minute. who got time for that? probably kim kardashian. 5 minutes is my total time in the bathroom, in and out. 

i was sick for 5 days when writting this. wednesday was the worst. i had fever, sore throat, migrain, body ache, cough and blocked nose. my covid test came negative for all three days that i have tested. i read somewhere that the new mutation virus could came out negative but still gives you the same symptom and would spread even faster. probably why ilhan got cough the very next day i got it.

i was grateful that my husband could work from home since wednesday. i was too tired to do anything. one point, i wish my mom could come fly over here and take care of me. me. a mom. at this age of 38 still wishing a for a mom to take care of me. i guess its true enough, you will always need your mom. not matter what you age. now i know growing up is very scary. today, i’m able to call my mom when i get sick, to get comfort words. there’ll be time, i cannot call her anymore and what are left with, just a memory of those comfort words she used to tell.