Panic attack

I dont know why i always redha at being a kitchen slave. Just yesterday i was ranting how all my life been dedicating in the kitchen as in i made a career out of a chef and today i was up in the kitchen half day since 6am. What is wrong with me? Last night, I told my self ,tomorrow i dont want to cook anything else other than lunch. This morning, i woke up and make bread pudding. While baking it, I switched on the laptop and watched some episodes of the drama that i missed. After breakfast, I went into the kitchen and decided to make a batch of frozen curry puff. Honestly, my hands are still sore of rolling the pastries but i got lunch to make. It was almost 3pm when I stepped out of the kitchen to eat my lunch. You, weird women.

Anyway, i received a letter today from the hospital saying that i need to see a nurse for health check up since my diabetic level is not within normal range. What the heck? I dont want to die because of diabetic! I realise that these past few months, i've been on a horrible diet. My sugar intake was absolutely crazy especially when my period comes. I could finished off a whole bar of chocolate easily. I couldnt care to drink more fluid. I escape dinner most days and eat a lot of junk foods. I dont exercise as much as I should. I look skinny but i feel heavy. I am unhealthy person. I dont really used to these kind of lifestyle before. I am a person who take my health very seriously. Everyday i drink proper 1.5L of water, at least one fruit, 2tbsp of honey day and night, drink juice only from juice maker, proper exercise once a week, and many more. I think I am too busy and eventually, have been neglecting my health. That is sad because it shouldnt be that way. Why in the world would i be too busy with? i just dont have the answer to that. 

I have to get out of this horrible lifestyle before it becomes my comfort zone.